A Year After Retirement, I Finally Saw Myself

It has been one full year since I left my corporate job.
Last winter, someone told me, “You should watch this drama. It’s trending these days.”
The title was memorable: “The Story of Manager Kim Who Works at a Big Company and Owns a House in Seoul.”

At first, I couldn’t understand why they recommended it to me.
But after finally binge-watching the series last week—after postponing it for months—I realized exactly why.

When Manager Kim Felt Like Someone Else’s Story

During the first few episodes, I didn’t feel much connection.
The world of sales, performance pressure, and fierce promotion battles felt distant from my own career.

I even thought I resembled Chief Oh from the drama Misaeng more than Manager Kim.
So I watched with a certain emotional distance.

But as the episodes unfolded, the psychological layers of Kim Nak-su, the central character, became clearer.
And strangely, something deep within me began to respond.

It hit me quietly:

“This isn’t someone else’s story.
This is my story.”

I Thought I Was Doing Fine…

But I Was Falling Apart Without Realizing It

Manager Kim believed he was working hard for the company.
But beneath the surface lay something else:

• the desperate struggle to get promoted
• the hidden fight to protect wounded pride
• the slow collapse of his emotional world

And in that unraveling, I saw myself before retirement.

I used to think I had no ambition for promotion.
But looking back now, that wasn’t true.
There was a small part of me that waited for recognition, felt anxious during evaluation season, and cared deeply about how others saw me.

I reassured myself that I was “doing well.”
I pretended it was all for my family.
But deep inside, something was slowly wearing away.

I was programmed like a robot—to endure for the sake of family, responsibility, and pride.

A Quiet Tear: “Just Tell Him He Did Well”

There is a scene where Manager Kim returns home after accepting voluntary retirement.
His wife senses that something is different.

Without thinking, I whispered to the screen:

“Just tell him he did well.
That’s all he needs.”

Before the sentence even ended, tears rolled down my face.

I had acted as if retirement didn’t affect me,
but deep down, a small unhealed wound had remained.

The True Source of Stress Wasn’t Work—It Was Me

After leaving the company, Manager Kim begins to spiral—mistakes, anxiety, even panic attacks.
And then he confesses:

“I was just trying to protect my petty pride.”

Those words struck me deeply.

I had lived believing I was strong, stable, and unaffected.
But in truth, my pride, role, and sense of responsibility
were quietly tying me down.

The real weight wasn’t the company, the system, or the culture.

It was myself.

The Journey Doesn’t End After Leaving the Company

In the drama, Manager Kim chooses to work at a car wash—
a symbolic act of removing masks, titles, and expectations.
He starts a journey back to his true self.

I chose blogging and studying instead.
Different paths, but the same direction:

returning to who we really are.

Because after retirement, the journey doesn’t end.
If anything, it finally begins.

My Blog’s Title, and the “Manager Kim” Living Inside Me

My blog is titled “A Journey to Find My Dream.”

And now I understand why.

Like Manager Kim, I am also searching—
for meaning, identity, and the version of myself hidden under years of responsibility and pride.

There is emptiness after retirement,
mixed with fear, hope, and the fragile pride of middle-aged men.
But in that space, I am slowly rediscovering myself.

Every day, quietly, I continue that journey.

For Your Dream Life
by Dream Max